The Dentist

This is how I normally feel after the dentist.

Generally, I love going to the dentist.  My sister does too, so I grew up thinking this wasn't unusual.  The dentist is like going to a spa.  You sit in a room with pretty mobiles hanging overhead, and a nice lady comes in who tells you what gorgeous teeth you have.  Then she makes pleasant small talk with you, even though you're not expected to respond.  You can either study her eyes in great detail or go into a half-asleep daydream.  Both are lovely options.  Meanwhile, she'll polish your teeth so you can leave feeling beautified and clean.  At the end, a dentist comes by, introduces himself, pats you on the back, and gives you some free floss and toothpaste.  Other doctors are not like this.  Eye doctors tell you you're blind, ear doctors tell you you're deaf, regular doctors tell you to lose weight, and OBGYN doctors attack you with a speculum.

The dentists in Hawaii are not like the dentists in Virginia I grew up with.  When I tried to make my first Hawaii dental appointment, I learned that in order to have my teeth cleaned, I needed to first have a completely separate appointment to see the dentist and have x-rays taken.  Since I really wanted a dentist, I put up with this inconvenient demand.  When I showed up for my first appointment, I was seated in a tiny room by a dental nurse.

"Have you had digital x-rays of your teeth taken before?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?  The digital kind?"
"No, um, maybe not.  I'm not sure.  Are those different than normal x-rays?"
"They're newer.  And uncomfortable."
"No, I don't think I've had those."
"Oh... I'm sorry, but I want to warn you.  They're uncomfortable."
"Okay.  Why don't we use the old kind then?"
"I think because these are easier to download.  But they are not very patient friendly."
"What if I don't want to get x-rays of my teeth?  Can I opt out?"
"Did you want your teeth cleaned?"
"Yes."

This is how I actually felt.

"Then... you need to do the digital x-rays."
"...Okay."

She left me in the room for a while to make me nervous.  When she returned, she proceeded to jab large electronic rectangles into my mouth and request that I bite down while she took pictures.  It was impossible to bite down and keep the rectangles in place without causing tiny cuts on the roof of my mouth or sides of my cheek.  This happened about 16 times.  This was far less friendly and time-consuming than the gentler, kinder days of plastic x-ray films.  When the torture was over, I was moved to a bigger room to see the dentist.  The dentist did not pat me on the back or give me free toothpaste.  He told me my teeth looked fine and to come back in six months.  I was relieved that the worst was over and that my dental cleaning would surely be a better experience.

My dental cleaning appointment came a few weeks later.  I was brought to a room in the back by a different dental nurse.  She sat me down and immediately stated, "I have to take your blood pressure.  And the reason we take your blood pressure is because if your blood pressure is too high, it will mean your blood is too thin and there may be too much risk in doing a dental cleaning."  I didn't tell her that having high blood pressure does not actually thin the blood.  But even if it did, it hardly made sense for that to be a contraindication to scraping teeth with a little metal hook.  I asked her, "Really?  You can't clean my teeth if I have high blood pressure?"  She looked at me and stated slowly, as if I had not heard her the first time, "Yes, because if your blood pressure is too high, it will mean your blood is too thin and there may be too much risk in doing a dental cleaning."  I responded, "Okay.  That sounds a little bit crazy."  I thought this was much more polite than what I wanted to say, which would have been something along the lines of, "Okay.  That is an inadequate explanation and sounds a lot like pseudoscience bullshit."

I did not think checking my blood pressure would be a problem, because like most other 26 year old girls, my blood pressure is always normal.  The nurse put an automatic cuff on my arm and read my blood pressure out loud:
"It's... 140/110.  That's actually high.  We maybe can't do your tooth cleaning today."
"Oh.  What's your cut off?"
"Normal is 120/80."
"Okay.  Is your cut off anything above 120/80?"
"No.  Normal is 120/80.  The cut off is higher if you're taking blood pressure medications.  Are you?"
"No.  What's your cut off for people who aren't taking medications?"
"I don't know.  I'll have to check.  But I think this is too high.  Let me check your other arm.  It's... 130/110.  It's still too high.  I will tell your hygienist.  Are you anxious?"
"No."
"Were you running to get here?"
"No."
"Okay, let's check it in a couple minutes."  She left the room, and I wondered if she was going to return with a manual blood pressure cuff, which tend to be more accurate.  When she returned, I was a little bit disappointed that she stuck with the same automatic cuff.
"Now it's 130/99.  The hygienist says this is okay now because the lower number is not three digits.  She'll be in to clean your teeth."
"Okay."

The dental hygienist came in next.  She was not rude, but she was not a nice lady who complimented me or made small talk.  Her eyes were not nice to look at and there were no mobiles in the room.  The hygienist spent just a few minutes scraping my teeth, and then sprayed ridiculously cold water all over them.  She told me to remember to floss and sent me home.  I left shocked, annoyed, and a bit disillusioned.  It was the first time I understood why everybody hates going to the dentist.