2023 & My Pregnancy

Prior to 2023:

Trigger warning - this prologue is sad, but it gives context to where I was coming from as the year 2023 started. 

My husband Bill and I had decided to try to have a child early in 2021, which was a complete switch after years of me thinking I wanted to remain childless. We were totally unprepared for the heartbreaking 2 years that would follow. I lost my first pregnancy in 2021 and lost my second pregnancy (identical twins) in 2022.  After another year of trying to conceive without success, it was looking like it wasn't in the cards for us.

Bought for us by our friend Michelle:
resin art representing our three angel babies

"The Worst Girl Gang Ever" podcast and course was the
most helpful resource I found while dealing with pregnancy loss

Jan 14: 

We met a litter of 8 cream golden retriever puppies, and I informed Bill that he could choose which one we'd be taking home.  He chose Ocean, the sweetest puppy in the world, who brought joy into my life and gave me someone to love when I needed it the most.  We visited Ocean and his siblings many times over the next month.

Bill found it impossible to say no

Feb 1-10: 

Our friends Jamie and Bentley joined Bill and me on a trip to New Zealand.  Highlights included hiking, the Shotover Canyon & Swing, kayaking in the Milford Sound, seeing an octopus at an underwater observatory, going on a glow worm tour in Te Anau, and soaking in the Hot Water Beach.

Kayaking in a fjord

I enjoyed the Shotover Canyon Swing more than Bill

Feb 17: 

We took puppy Ocean home!  He became our 5th pet, joining our cat Cadenza and our other 3 dogs Pixel, Zoltan, and Mabel.

Puppy love

Cadenza liked to block me from finishing puzzles

Our other dogs from left to right: Pixel, Zoltan, and Mabel

Bill with all 5 pets a couple months later

Mar 21: 

After months of eye medications and procedures for a non-healing eye abrasion, Pixel had to have her right eye removed.

Pixel was a champ; she took it better than Bill or I did

Apr 24-29: 

Bill and I went to NYC to see a bunch of shows: Sweeney Todd, Some Like it Hot, Parade, Kimberly Akimbo, Prima Facie, The Bubble Show, and the Comedy Cellar.  We were joined by my sister Lan and her husband George (Texas), as well as our friends Jamie (Oregon) and Jenna (Washington).

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd

Bill and Jenna at Summit One Vanderbilt

Ukulele with Dr Uke and his family in Central Park

Apr 30: 

We returned home from NYC one day early so I could participate in a tap dance show.  My boobs hurt while jumping during the performance, and later that night I became uncharacteristically angry at Bill.  I questioned if I could be pregnant, but held off on testing since I was tired of the constant disappointment each time I peed on a stick. 

Later, I would send a video of this tap dance to my family
with a hidden message that announced my pregnancy

May 1 (3w4d): 

When I woke up early the following morning, I couldn't shake the feeling that I may be pregnant. It had only been 24 days since my LMP and 11 days since my predicted ovulation, so I thought I was probably overreacting. I snuck out of bed to use the bathroom and found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time in 3 years.  I felt hopeful, but was also guarded and terrified of losing another pregnancy.

Me with Ocean, the day I found out I was pregnant

~May 18-Jul 19 (weeks 6 through 14): 

I struggled with terrible morning sickness for nine miserable weeks. It felt like I was continuously seasick on a boat; sometimes it was more turbulent than other times, but I could never make it to dry land. I tried various medications with only partial relief.  My tongue would peel from sucking on sour candies.  One of my liver tests was abnormally high and needed to be monitored, which was eventually attributed to vomiting.  

I lived off of unisom, preggie pops, and saltines

I tried acupuncture and cupping for the first time.  They didn't work.

I continued working even on days I required IV fluids.
In retrospect, I wish I had taken off a few days for myself.

May 26 (7w1d): 

Bill and I saw our baby's heartbeat for the first time. I knew it was still very early, but it was encouraging. I felt cautiously optimistic.  

Tiny little heart beat

May 31 - June 12 (7w6d - 10w2d):

Bill's brother Dave, his wife Christina, and their two teenage kids Alex & Anastasia visited us in Hawaii for 2 weeks. We split our time between Oahu, the Big Island, and Kauai.  I was still having a hard time with nausea and vomiting, but it was a welcome distraction to have visitors.

Paradise Luau with the family

June 9 (9w1d):

Bill and I returned from Kauai a day early for our ultrasound in Oahu, where we saw our baby moving for the first time!  I laughed and cried at the same time.  Even though I was still physically ill, I felt deliriously happy.  We started referring to our baby as "gummy bear" since she looked just like one.  Sometimes I still ask Bill to do the gummy bear dance for me.

I didn't know an ultrasound could be so cute

June 26 (11w4d): 

We heard our baby's heartbeat on the doppler for the first time.  Those little heart beats never failed to make me smile.

Whoosh whoosh whoosh

June 28 (11w6d): 

Cadenza, our 14 year old cat, passed away.  I had a hard time following his loss, especially as the morning sickness continued to wear on me for several more weeks.  I had never been so sick for so long.  I was also anxious that I might lose another pregnancy and all the misery would be for nothing.  It got to a point that whenever I vomited (which was every day), I'd start crying.

Cadenza's last day

Jul 20 (15w0d): 

Morning sickness finally faded away and was replaced with intense fruit cravings.  I ate the majority of a watermelon by myself within a week!  Some mornings I would wake up and go to the grocery store just to fill up a basket of fruit.  

My cousin Jess gifted us boxes of fresh fruit
delivered weekly to our house

July 22 (15w2d): 

I visited my pregnant friend Ynhu and she did a baby ultrasound for me in her home.

Little Maya would be born less than 2 weeks later, on Aug 2!

Sometimes it's handy to have doctor friends

July 27 - Aug 3 (16-17 weeks): 

At 16 weeks, I was diagnosed with hypertension, which was scary because it raised my risk of preeclampsia.  I started taking nifedipine and aspirin.  The following week, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had to stop eating so much fruit.  

When you're finally able to eat... and then get diabetes :(

The continuous glucose monitor needle was intimidating!

Aug 5 (17w2d): 

I had felt the faintest flutters for a couple days, but the first time I was certain I could feel my baby kicking was during a Cory Wong concert at The Blue Note.  Bill would have to wait another 4 weeks to feel her kick.  I absolutely loved feeling my baby, which I think is largely why I enjoyed my second and third trimesters so much. 

Maybe she'll like jazz?

Aug 14 (18w4d): 

Second trimester came with a boost in energy and my activity picked back up. I was able to return to hiking and tap dancing, and I started taking prenatal yoga classes.  I signed up for birthing classes and hired a doula.  My anxiety about pregnancy loss started to gradually decrease.  I finally felt like myself again.  

Me with Steph, less than 2 weeks before she delivered her baby!

Aug 14-20 (18w4d - 19w3d): 

My dad had booked a plane ride to visit me because he knew I was having a hard time, but by the time he arrived my morning sickness was already gone and I was feeling great.  We spent the week hiking with my dogs and going to beaches.

Makapu'u Point with the 4 pups

Aug 27 (20w3d):

I visited my friend Steph after she gave birth to her baby Matty.  It was an entirely different experience to visit a newborn while pregnant.

Strange hormones going on...
it almost felt like I was about to begin lactating!

Aug 29 (20w5d):

Sanja and I became friends after meeting on a Facebook pregnancy group.  She was due less than a month after me, and it was fun to share our pregnancy journeys together.

Sanja with her dog Kawika & me with my dog Ocean

Sept 12-17 (22w5d - 23w3d): 

Bill and I traveled to Washington State to meet my cousin Jess's baby and catch up with various family and friends.

Jess (the same cousin who sent me fruit)
with her husband Matt and their baby Kaia!

E-biking around Lake Wanatchee with my parents

My mom in 1982 and me in 2023,
both pregnant at Mt Rainier National Park

At Narada Falls, my rainbow baby started kicking
right when a rainbow appeared.
Both my parents were able to feel her for the first time.

Hiking at Olympic National Park with our friend Jenna

Sept 26-27 (25w1d - 25w2d): 

Kate joined me on an outer island trip to Maui, which we referred to as my babymoon. She took lots of photos of my baby bump.

Me and Kate in Maui

Ke'anae Peninsula

Pipiwai Trail

Wailua Waterfall

Wai’anapanapa State Park

Oct 5 (26w0d):

Midge and I befriended each other during prenatal yoga, and I got to visit her when she had her baby.

This was my fourth friend to have a baby this year,
and it was feeling more real each time

Oct 14 (27w2d):

Bill took a beautiful photo of my baby bump on the morning we tried (and failed) to see a solar eclipse.

Sunrise at Kailua Beach

Oct 15 (27w3d):

Kate invited me to a children's Halloween party, which gave me an excuse to wear this adorable maternity shirt.

Mama and baby skeletons

Oct 22-28 (28w3d - 29w2d):

For my 6th and final trip of the year, Bill and I traveled to Texas to celebrate my Dad's 70th birthday and visit 12 family members.  Lan and I wore rainbow eye shadow and rainbow clothing while we sung the lullaby "La La Lu" to my baby.

Eye shadow

My 96 year old grandmother feeling my baby kick

My family from Austin and Bill's family from Houston

Oct 29-31 (29w3d - 29w5d):

For Halloween, Bill and I dressed up as Midge (Barbie's pregnant friend) and her significant other Allan from the Barbie movie.

Allan & Midge

The whole family at the dog park

Me at 3.5 weeks pregnant vs me at 29.5 weeks pregnant
Ocean and I both grew over those 26 weeks!

Nov 9-14 (31w0d - 31w5d)

I was too pregnant to travel during my vacation, so our friends Jenn, Joe, and their toddler Gwenyth visited us from Washington.  

Snorkeling at Shark's Cove

Gwenyth feeling baby kick

Hiking Koko Head during the third trimester!

Nov 17 (32w1d):

We were able to see our baby's face on a 3D ultrasound for the first time. It was very emotional and I surprised myself by crying.

Baby face!

Nov 18 (32w2d):

Bill, the pups, and I woke up early for a sunrise maternity photoshoot at Kuliouou Beach.  I've been with Bill for 14 years, and this was our first time hiring a professional photographer.  I have a separate blog with maternity photos, but here are some behind the scenes shots.

Our friend Arun joined us to help wrangle the dogs

Mabel coming out of the portable changing room

First dress

Second dress, with Autumn from Lokeli'i Photography

Third dress

Me & Ocean after the shoot

Nov 19 (32w3d):

After some back and forth, we decided to have a baby shower.  We're glad we did; it was a lot of fun.

Anne and Jun threw the party for us at our house. 
Jun was our bartender.  Ynhu bought and set up decorations.

Our guests surprised us with painted ukulele figures to decorate the baby room wall.
(Anne met everyone in advance to arrange this!)

Guests colored in pages to create our baby's first ABC book

Instead of gifts, we requested used books for our baby's library

Nov 20 (32w4d):

My friend Michelle lent me her maternity dress and shot underwater photos of me in her pool.

Me & Michelle

We spent most of the time trying to capture this particular shot

Reflections

Playing in the water

Ukulele

Nov 22-25 (32w6d - 33w2d):

Jamie visited us from Portland for Thanksgiving.  Our main course was lobster legs and we cooked a bunch of diabetic-friendly sides.

Jamie & Me

Me, Jamie, & Bill snorkeling at Turtle Canyon

Looking at baby's heart beat with Jamie

Nov 30 (34w0d):

Raquel threw me a surprise diaper party in our office!  One of my patients was having a medical emergency that afternoon, so I was a couple hours late to my own party.

Tower of diapers

Front of our thank you card
(You can see Bill, me, and Ocean if you look hard enough)

Back of our thank you card

Dec 3 (34w3d):

My coworker Irina took sunset maternity photos for me and Bill.

Irina with her camera gear

Flying dress

Baby bump

Me & Bill

String lights

Dec 10 (35w3d):

I tap danced in a holiday show at Ala Moana Center.  My first tap show this year was the day before I found out I was pregnant, and this one was just two weeks before my induction.

My baby's third costume this year (and definitely my favorite)

Raquel made the costume for me

On stage

Dec 12 (35w5d):

At my last tap class, everyone surprised me with a book for my baby, which they signed and decorated with polaroids of themselves.

I'm going to miss this class

Dec 13 (35w6d):

We got to see our baby's face on ultrasound which made me tear up again.

My cutie pie

Dec 16 (36w2d):

My friends and I got together to play ukulele and sing to nursing home residents.  This was something we used to do fairly regularly but had stopped years ago due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Getting the band back together again

Dec 17 (36w3d):

I took my last prenatal yoga class and completed my last wooden puzzle.  I had been a member of the Hoefnagel Puzzle Club for a little over 2 years, during which time I borrowed >130 wooden puzzles.  This month, I decided to finally cancel my subscription to make more time for my upcoming baby.

My final wooden puzzle: Ocean Life by Liberty Puzzles

Dec 21 (37w0d):

Ocean turned one year old!  We didn't know it at the time, but he had only one week left to be the baby of the family.

Happy birthday, Ocean!

Dec 24 (37w3d):

My blood pressure started to worsen over the last week and then hit 161/104, which prompted me to be seen in the labor & delivery ward.  Work up was reassuring, blood pressure trended down on its own, and I was able to be discharged a few hours later.  It felt surreal to immediately put on my scrubs and go downstairs to work my shift.

 Not where I expected to be that morning

Dec 25 (37w4d):

On Christmas, my blood pressures were better controlled so I went to work as usual.  Some of my coworkers predicted I may not be returning to work for a while, so we all took a Christmas photo together.  It turns out that they were correct (to be continued on my blog post: Labor & Delivery).

Christmas in the hospital

Our Christmas card this year

Card inspiration

Bill's summary of 2023
(A slightly shorter version of this blog post)