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"The Worst Girl Gang Ever" podcast and course was the
most helpful resource I found while dealing with pregnancy loss
|
Jan 14:
We met a litter of 8 cream golden retriever puppies, and I informed Bill that he could choose which one we'd be taking home. He chose Ocean, the sweetest puppy in the world, who brought joy into my life and gave me someone to love when I needed it the most. We visited Ocean and his siblings many times over the next month.
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| Bill found it impossible to say no |
Feb 1-10:
Our friends Jamie and Bentley joined Bill and me on a trip to New Zealand. Highlights included hiking, the Shotover Canyon & Swing, kayaking in the Milford Sound, seeing an octopus at an underwater observatory, going on a glow worm tour in Te Anau, and soaking in the Hot Water Beach.
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| Kayaking in a fjord |
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| I enjoyed the Shotover Canyon Swing more than Bill |
Feb 17:
We took puppy Ocean home! He became our 5th pet, joining our cat Cadenza and our other 3 dogs Pixel, Zoltan, and Mabel.
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| Puppy love |
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| Cadenza liked to block me from finishing puzzles |
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| Our other dogs from left to right: Pixel, Zoltan, and Mabel |
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| Bill with all 5 pets a couple months later |
Mar 21:
After months of eye medications and procedures for a non-healing eye abrasion, Pixel had to have her right eye removed.
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| Pixel was a champ; she took it better than Bill or I did |
Apr 24-29:
Bill and I went to NYC to see a bunch of shows: Sweeney Todd, Some Like it Hot, Parade, Kimberly Akimbo, Prima Facie, The Bubble Show, and the Comedy Cellar. We were joined by my sister Lan and her husband George (Texas), as well as our friends Jamie (Oregon) and Jenna (Washington).
We returned home from NYC one day early so I could participate in a tap dance show. My boobs hurt while jumping during the performance, and later that night I became uncharacteristically angry at Bill. I questioned if I could be pregnant, but held off on testing since I was tired of the constant disappointment each time I peed on a stick.
 |
Later, I would send a video of this tap dance to my family
with a hidden message that announced my pregnancy
|
May 1 (3w4d):
When I woke up early the following morning, I couldn't shake the feeling that I may be pregnant. It had only been 24 days since my LMP and 11 days since my predicted ovulation, so I thought I was probably overreacting. I snuck out of bed to use the bathroom and found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time in 3 years. I felt hopeful, but was also guarded and terrified of losing another pregnancy.
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| Me with Ocean, the day I found out I was pregnant |
~May 18-Jul 19 (weeks 6 through 14):
I struggled with terrible morning sickness for nine miserable weeks. It felt like I was continuously seasick on a boat; sometimes it was more turbulent than other times, but I could never make it to dry land. I tried various medications with only partial relief. My tongue would peel from sucking on sour candies. One of my liver tests was abnormally high and needed to be monitored, which was eventually attributed to vomiting.
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| I lived off of unisom, preggie pops, and saltines |
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| I tried acupuncture and cupping for the first time. They didn't work. |
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I continued working even on days I required IV fluids.
In retrospect, I wish I had taken off a few days for myself. |
May 26 (7w1d):
Bill and I saw our baby's heartbeat for the first time. I knew it was still very early, but it was encouraging. I felt cautiously optimistic.
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| Tiny little heart beat |
May 31 - June 12 (7w6d - 10w2d):
Bill's brother Dave, his wife Christina, and their two teenage kids Alex & Anastasia visited us in Hawaii for 2 weeks. We split our time between Oahu, the Big Island, and Kauai. I was still having a hard time with nausea and vomiting, but it was a welcome distraction to have visitors.
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| Paradise Luau with the family |
June 9 (9w1d):
Bill and I returned from Kauai a day early for our ultrasound in Oahu, where we saw our baby moving for the first time! I laughed and cried at the same time. Even though I was still physically ill, I felt deliriously happy. We started referring to our baby as "gummy bear" since she looked just like one. Sometimes I still ask Bill to do the gummy bear dance for me.
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| I didn't know an ultrasound could be so cute |
June 26 (11w4d):
We heard our baby's heartbeat on the doppler for the first time. Those little heart beats never failed to make me smile.
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| Whoosh whoosh whoosh |
June 28 (11w6d):
Cadenza, our 14 year old cat, passed away. I had a hard time following his loss, especially as the morning sickness continued to wear on me for several more weeks. I had never been so sick for so long. I was also anxious that I might lose another pregnancy and all the misery would be for nothing. It got to a point that whenever I vomited (which was every day), I'd start crying.
.heic) |
| Cadenza's last day |
Jul 20 (15w0d):
Morning sickness finally faded away and was replaced with intense fruit cravings. I ate the majority of a watermelon by myself within a week! Some mornings I would wake up and go to the grocery store just to fill up a basket of fruit.
 |
My cousin Jess gifted us boxes of fresh fruit
delivered weekly to our house
|
July 22 (15w2d):
I visited my pregnant friend Ynhu and she did a baby ultrasound for me in her home.
.HEIC) |
| Little Maya would be born less than 2 weeks later, on Aug 2! |
.heic) |
| Sometimes it's handy to have doctor friends |
July 27 - Aug 3 (16-17 weeks):
At 16 weeks, I was diagnosed with hypertension, which was scary because it raised my risk of preeclampsia. I started taking nifedipine and aspirin. The following week, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had to stop eating so much fruit.
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| When you're finally able to eat... and then get diabetes :( |
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The continuous glucose monitor needle was intimidating!
|
Aug 5 (17w2d):
I had felt the faintest flutters for a couple days, but the first time I was certain I could feel my baby kicking was during a Cory Wong concert at The Blue Note. Bill would have to wait another 4 weeks to feel her kick. I absolutely loved feeling my baby, which I think is largely why I enjoyed my second and third trimesters so much.
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| Maybe she'll like jazz? |
Aug 14 (18w4d):
Second trimester came with a boost in energy and my activity picked back up. I was able to return to hiking and tap dancing, and I started taking prenatal yoga classes. I signed up for birthing classes and hired a doula. My anxiety about pregnancy loss started to gradually decrease. I finally felt like myself again.
.heic) |
| Me with Steph, less than 2 weeks before she delivered her baby! |
Aug 14-20 (18w4d - 19w3d):
My dad had booked a plane ride to visit me because he knew I was having a hard time, but by the time he arrived my morning sickness was already gone and I was feeling great. We spent the week hiking with my dogs and going to beaches.
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| Makapu'u Point with the 4 pups |
Aug 27 (20w3d):
I visited my friend Steph after she gave birth to her baby Matty. It was an entirely different experience to visit a newborn while pregnant.
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